Thursday, May 28, 2020

5/28/2020



Remember Christine Blasey Ford? She is my hero. It doesn't matter what kind of assault or abuse you experience, calling out and abuser is rough. You find out who your friends are.

I met with my therapist this morning. She's counseled me and K— for over a year. She asked me to take into consideration the possibility of simple human error over sociopathic disregard for a person's wellbeing in the cases I've experienced in the last four months. She also said I should consider the number of strange references to murder I've heard from my ex-partner over the last two weeks. She said to take into account the number of times that I have believed my safety was compromised by my ex. She said to consider the manipulation, gaslighting, and controlling behaviors. Then she said I get to make the judgments based on my rationale about what happened to me.

I know what happened. I know that in the end I was terrified for my safety.

I have something like 175 Facebook friends. K— has well over a thousand. The sympathy and support rolls in for her, telling her how big a person she is for saying lovely things about the relationship while I cry foul. It's astounding. Especially considering that some of these were my friends and adamant supporters of victim's rights and advocacy in the recent cases of abuse of all types spotlighted by the media. 

I think victims get support when it's the hip thing to do. I think there are 30 or so beautiful people in my life who love me, believe me, and who are giving me all the support they can on social media during a pandemic. We didn't share a domicile, but because I was my ex-partner's only regular contact, I am telling you—I experienced domestic emotional abuse. Add my name to the roster.

I'm not surprised at those who disbelieve, just sad. Very sad.

I've spent the last week alone with B—. But suddenly, time feels like it's standing still.

1 comment:

  1. You remain one of the strongest, most resilient people I've ever known. You will get through this. You will be better for it. Love you.

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