I think I've held the belief
for ten years
that today might someday be a possibility.
It's been a long wait
since my baby boy's birth father, my second ex, abandoned us
when I was five months pregnant.
B— asked me if it was okay to get teary on the stand.
I hope it was, because during the hearing
I testified longer than either Mr. PNU or my son
as to my feelings about this adoption,
and I wept.
I told the judge that as a mother I couldn't ask
for a better father for my child.
I take my oaths seriously.
My husband has been asking me ever since if I am alright.
He's caught me repeatedly mid-sigh.
I tell him I'm setting into relief after a decade of anxiety
that a boy would ever have to live without a daddy.