I have to stalk my daughter on Tumblr to see her artwork these days. It's not that she's hiding anything. We're just at that junction where her life is hers, and mine is mine even though our rooms share a common wall. She's two months shy from high school graduation, already admitted with a four-year, full-ride scholarship to the Pie Tin, making plans for a degree in illustration. I'm sure she has other longterm plans in mind, but those paths seem more plasmic. Her boyfriend is two years younger, finishing high school via online classes, hoping this month to become an engineer; for the last year he's been talking law enforcement. I think plans they made to eventually head off for a life in Las Vegas are fading. Both of them seem to be age appropriate in shifting ideology and faith, if not goal oriented behavior. Neither of them are heteronormative, so the fact that they've found themselves in a heteronormative relationship has its tensions. Hopefully, loyalty will win out in the tug of alternate attractions. If the relationship ends for any other reason, I think I can cope. But if M— were to leave her boyfriend, Z—, for a woman, or if Z— were to leave M— for a man, I think I'll be devastated. They're kids still, tossed about by hormones and psyches that sometimes gel perfectly, other times I wonder how much longer they'll adhere to the same life plan.
Thing is, I love them both.
We open our doors to our children's people and create new rooms in our hearts that we certainly don't plan to ever be vacated, even if they are too young for permanence, and we too wise to encourage it.