Thursday, February 5, 2015

"It's like my mom is colorblind, and I keep asking her to appreciate a rainbow."

I frequently hear, "But she's a therapist."—but, it's a thing.

The cell phone plan I have through my mother ends in April. It's the one detail that requires I maintain a relationship with her. Although at my first request that we stop talking she suggested I find a new plan at the end of this contract, she's now telling me how great I've been at paying my bill and that she'd like me to continue.  Mr. PNU and I frequently discuss what is best for me and our family, and as I approach another attempt at cutting off contact entirely, my husband is completely supportive. She's begun extending her emotional harm to my kids, and I can't allow that. M— and E— are both feeling it. L— too, to some extent. My mother is extremely manipulative with my youngest daughter, and L—'s sweet nature falls prey easily. Nor do I believe I should allow her to continue emotionally abusing me. I know, it's a little odd that it took me so long to figure all of this out. But that seems to be the pattern in relationships with narcissistic parents.

I told my husband tonight that I'm tired of the bristling resentment I feel. I'm ready to forgive, but I need her behavior to end. Closing the door permanently is hard, but I think it may be the kindest choice possible whether she sees it that way or not. I'm tired of being the scapegoat.

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