Saturday, February 28, 2015

High fives and thumb wars

It's campy, we know. But the first bump was taken.

You know, I have this list of married couples that I idolize. Not because I think they're perfect, but because these kids love each other and it stays. I got to tell the wife of one of these couples as much today. Now I'm telling you.

Divorce is crappy, but probably not to me the way it is to a lot of people. There's something about settling because you really don't think anything better is coming along, and then having the thing you settle for go wrong.

Maybe I should apologize for ever settling in the first place. I'm sorry, guys. 

Ex No. One, we have great kids and you do a good job supporting them. But yes, you weren't cut out for marriage anymore than a steel girder is made to serve as a buoy. 

Ex No. Two, thanks for turning my rotters and for the chlamydia. I think the fact that I read books, collected art, and listened to classical music, and that you aspired to build cars for demolition derbies, wore a handle bar mustache, and fancied yourself a cowboy gangsta speaks volumes. Mania. Who knew?

Ex No. Three, well, at least there's sealing cancelations. Good luck with all that vitriol and those gorgeous grandkids who will hopefully never know what a monster you are capable of being. Can I just say how glad I am your first ex left you before she found out about the breast cancer? She's a beautiful, strong woman and a great mother. You didn't deserve her. You didn't deserve me.

I'm crazy mad in love with this philosopher boy, and he's crazy mad in love with me. I can't imagine getting tired of us. I can't imagine not racing to see who does the laundry first, or wandering around the Liberal Arts building of the Pie Tin trying to find each other during the fifteen minute breaks we have between classes, or meeting up for kid's meal lunches at our favorite burger joint, or staying up till 2 a.m. because closing our eyes means we won't see each other again until we wake up at 7 a.m., or joking around and sharing philosophical views aisle by aisle at Walmart at least once a week, or making the other a bowl of cereal for breakfast in bed, or endlessly checking each other out when the kids aren't looking, or driving around together listening to the Ramones, or sharing spiritual insights in Sunday School, or sharing irreligious insights in Sunday School, or sharing late-night Jarlsberg swiss or Tillamook pepperjack, or watching 30 Rock episodes again because the third time means he can share the joke with his wife, or watching MST3K because the sweetest intimacy is trying not to pee our pants while we're laughing our guts out, or sitting through open mics where the slam poetry is only so-so because we're doing it together, or meeting up on the campus of LDS University of Choice for really good poetry and walking arm-in-arm through the library giddier than the young Mormon newlywed couples around us, or high-fiving in the checkout line at the grocery store, or having thumb wars next to the pregnancy tests at Dollar Tree.

First bumps were taken. 

Yeah, it's a good marriage. As we come up on two months from one year of us I keep catching myself feeling sad that we didn't bump into each other so many years sooner. I also catch myself hoping that we'll live long, long lives.

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