I'm taking an "I" in Pre-socratics.
One day is not enough time to write what I can do with what Plato has already done. Especially considering that I woke in the middle of the night clearly understanding that there is a connection between Antiphon's return to horsemanship, overseeing the smith's work on a bit rather than reciting Zeno's book; Aristotle's later reference to telos and the craft of bridle making; and Parmenides' return to his own natural philosophy to write a Proem about riding mares to the gates of Truth.
I sat in the philosophy hallway a few hours ago, pouring over my Greek textbook, and the spigot got the best of me. I spilt at most four, maybe five tears; just enough to lift the lid on the pressure. Just long enough for Dave, one of the other Ethics TAs to walk by and catch me in my private moment of weakness. Coincidence is kind to me in this hallway. I should hang out here more often. He offered a kind, enthusiastic peptalk, encouraged me to request the "I", gave me a hug, and then went on his way.
Remember when my Pre-socratics professor was urging me to drop Ethics? If only for that moment this afternoon, I'm so glad I didn't. I'm getting to the point where I know whom I can rely on for support, but the universe hands me gifts like this when I'm trying to play tough and failing.
I'm in the Library now, studying for finals still. But feeling calmer, less desperate and overwhelmed. Maybe I'll go home early and grade a few essays. Maybe I'll be with my kids even though I told them to fend for themselves tonight.
While this semester has been an exercise in enlargening my physical and emotional capacity, I will never take on this size of load, if I can help it, ever again.