Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Impulsivity and language—almost a full two days later

I still haven't the foggiest how the letter went over. But I'm not receiving a cold shoulder and I can see how what I said would take someone completely off guard. 

I am enjoyed in person... 

No one may believe this, but I suffer from morbid shyness. I can't talk about this touchy-feely stuff in person. That's why I wrote the letter. But I don't think I'm going to get my answer until I man up and do the face-to-face. I'm terrified. 

Like, I'm going to have to take some Ativan tonight kind of terrified.

Also, I'm really busy and I'm not certain when I can afford to sit down to the real deal and take whatever is handed to me.

Rather than lay awake with insomnia, tonight I may cry myself to sleep. Maybe this is a clue to me that I'm not ready for this sort of risk.

I did the whole "What have I got to lose?" talk with myself and I thought I was brave enough for this. I think now that I was wrong. 

We'll see in the morning.

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