Sunday, September 15, 2013

38 ways to slip and fall

1. Move
2. Climb a lot of mountains
3. Start school
4. Start losing sleep
5. Resort to higher quantities of caffeine to fight the effects of sleep deprivation and soporific medication
6. Hang with guys
7. Tell yourself that they're just pals
8. Hang with them until chemicals in your body tell you that they're not
9. Stay up on your homework
10. Lose even more sleep
11. Justify a couple cups of coffee, because diet colas are poison in a bottle
12. Hang with your "pals" some more
13. Try to see straight
14. Hang with poets at a Friday night soiree featuring a guitar, a man, and more Leonard Cohen than your chemical reactions can handle
15. Steal a couple of swallows of pinot
16. Steal the last two inches in the bottle when no one is looking
17. Offer yourself up like the sacrificial lamb to the man with the guitar
18. Drive away like it's nothing when he turns you down but says he'll be around
19. Don't even try to analyze what all of this means
20. Take a trazodone even though you've had pinot
21. Wake up and head into the mountains
22. Find yourself five miles from point (a) at the trailhead of Cascade
23. Read a little philosophy
24. Sing at the top of your lungs
25. Talk to the Universe
26. Whirl and spin in the arms of your cranial chemical vat
27. Sleep well that night
28. Wake rested, but agitated
29. Spend a couple of hours in the company of headstones reading the philosophy of dead men
30. Redirect your thoughts a dozen times
31. Bubble in discontent
32. Tell your kids that you're not well
33. Try to limit your caffeine
34. When one of your climbing boys messages you about Lone Peak answer back that you're game because you are
35. Restrain yourself from messaging your other climbing boy, he'll be around
36. You have an appointment with your psychiatrist tomorrow at 8 a.m.
37. Imagine Jacob's Ladder and the hours and hours of sweat and conversation to the Peak of Lone with your climbing boys
38. Settle into your skull. It's going to be a long night

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