YOU ARE DOING AWESOME!!! Don't let your anxiety steal the fun from you. Have faith in yourself and your decisions. You have every right to be confident. So someone called you a gaijin; there's people in every country, every town who are that kind of person. You ARE a foreigner. Japan INVITED you. The Japanese gov't is giving you the star treatment BECAUSE you are gaijin. If you were Japanese, I guarantee you wouldn't be staying in the hotel you're at, and you wouldn't have the chance to spend the time enjoying the country the way you are. Slurs like that are nothing to be embarrassed by. It means the person who spoke it is either uninformed, scared, or just plain prejudice. It happen everywhere. Forgive. Love them regardless. Move on. :)
As for the spending, we gave you the money with the intention that you would spend it. You CAN'T overspend. If you have 42,000 yen left and about a week to spend it, you should plan to spend approx. 6,000 yen a day. If you want to save one of those days so you can spend 12,000 yen on amine/games, you have my permission. The itinerary has you slated to return to the National Museum, so if you'd like to get the item you psyched yourself out of getting before, you can purchase it then. I believe that is next Tuesday. So hopefully you get this email today before you head to Nagano. I know you love Katy, and you should get her something, but the money sent with you is primarily for YOU. Keep her gift discrete and treat yourself, my dear. That is an order. ;)
I'm totally jealous of your miso diet. Hahaha. Just make certain you are drinking a TON of water to balance the salt intake. I'm also excited to see your blurry pictures. Make sure the camera mode is set for automatic on the top. It will help cut down on focusing problems.
I'm so glad you get this experience. You sound homesick. I understand, but I also want you to know that we want you to be there. We love you, but you are doing something that we are all excited about. Enjoy it for us. L— especially sends her love this morning. I think she's gaining a greater appreciation for you with recent female events and also having you far away.
When your anxiety and worries creep up, become aware of your surroundings. Feel the ground beneath you, smell the air, experience the softness of the humidity wrapped around you, be present. Take deep breaths and be calm. Know that your feet are rooted to the same planet as mine. Know that your Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother are watching over you. Know that you have infinite help to call on spiritually when you need it.
I love you, sweetheart.
i saw this email and i'll have to fully reply later because savanna needs to use the comp real quick but i promise i'll reply again when i get internet!!!!! <3 LOVE YOU! (OH and mom your camera battery died so the pictures i've been taking are on my red camera!! i forgot to tell you that i'm sorry :( ) i emailed dad just now and i'm going to email u again later when i get a connection.