I'll say the strangest aspect of this was going to the gym today and realizing that although I've never been interested in any of the other rats, the fear that I would be grilled for and accused of looking felt justifiably challengeable for the first time in three years.
I am my own woman.
How dare that mud spigot try to crush me as he has?
How dare I let him?
M— said, "You won't have to worry about nightmares anymore." I'd better make certain of that in the future. It's time to be a tight ass with responsibility for my personal happiness and wellbeing. In that, it felt comfortable that even today I had no interest in the parade of testosterone nor in their interest in me.